What it takes to get Married? And what more if it is NOT your Bestie!!!

In a world which offers many things to all planters,
we offer ourselves and one another person – Everything that we behold.
It is that phase and commitment in life, which is called “Marriage”.

Be it any type of a person you are – Do you wish for a Successful Marriage?

If your answer is “Yes“, then you are no longer that “person” you thought you could be forever in life. Oh Yes! that is the reality.
Marriage takes almost anything you have or had including your
a) School of Thought and  b) Your best friend.
Well, you might think its weird to even bring these two references as part of what it takes to get married !! Sorry, I humbly think these two go hand- in-hand; very much like a successful married couple.

Let me explain-

A) The day you decide you ought to get Married, is the day you have started to accept 2 individuals in the place of 1. It simply translates to- Replace the word “we” every time it strikes your mind as “I”. And with time progressing, the “I” becomes way smaller than you see (“i”). This obviously is a huge directional change in your thought process. Eventually in a matter of few years, you end up having a different approach in taking decisions- thereby bidding a good bold BYE to your old “School of Thought”.

B) Next why is it that I say- “Marriage” takes away the Best Friend you had?
Well, the answer is the consequence of the previous one.

You no longer think for just ”I” or “Me“… Its “We” all the way 🙂
Whoever was your best friend before, now this person has to be embraced by your spouse as his/ her Friend. If luck prevails it can turn out be his / her Best Friend too. Say even if the luck portion works, you still need time to make any relationship a sweet one. In the available mind space & time that you have, you now got to spend it with your Life Partner and your Bestie. Again Possibilities and priorities kick-in. Will you be able to give equal (50-50) time for both of them? Answer is Maybe (or) may not! While we can assume that you have given your best in all situations – there are still multi-fold scenarios that might bother –

  1. Are both your Bestie and your spouse happy in their compromises !
  2. Can you be the same all the time?
  3. Will this new gang of friendship work endlessly!

So on and so forth.. End of it, if Marriage is your priority, then you would eventually let go of the Best Friend you had.

Now that you know these two consequences are unavoidable, what Best can you do for
yourself? Well to start with, Evaluate your situation at the right moments. If you do not want to compromise on your friendship, assess if your best friend could fulfill being your life Partner!? After all, marriage is nothing but a long team bonded friendship. If your friendship doesn’t seem to have the fling it needs to make life Partners, then make-up your mind to distance from your then Bestie and gear up to make your spouse the new BFF.

I am sure you already know, compatible and happy couples are those who share their mind space and accept each other for who they are. If this person could be your best friend, then all the compromises and effort you need to put into a married life would just be totally worth giving away + there is the bonus of not loosing someone who had been dearest to you for years.

Vijayalakshmi Seshadri

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